Epiphany
by Aredhel Olivaw
Summary: A former stormtrooper, a pilot, a dubious list and a fairly obvious conclusion. Poe/Finn.


**Hello. o/**

Just an idea that popped in my head.

Because, let's be honest, Finn / Poe is true love! S2

Again, sorry about the broken English and mistakes you may find here. :)

* * *

 **Disclaimer:** Star Wars belongs to Disney.

 **Song:** Absolute Beginners

 **Artist** : David Bowie

* * *

 **Subtitles:**

"Blah blah": dialogues

 _"Blah blah": Thoughts_

 **Blah blah** : Intonations

* * *

 **Epiphany**

1 _Capitalized_ : January 6 observed as a church festival in commemoration of the coming of the Magi As the first manifestation of Christ to the Gentiles or in the Eastern Church in commemoration of the baptism of Christ

2: an appearance or manifestation especially of a divine being

3a (1): a usually sudden manifestation or perception of the Essential Nature or meaning of something (2): an intuitive grasp of reality through something (such as an event) usually simple and striking (3): an illuminating discovery, realization, or disclosure.

B: a revealing scene or moment.

* * *

 _I've nothing much to offer_  
 _There's nothing much to take_  
 _I'm an absolute beginner_  
 _And I'm absolutely sane_

It was strange to realise how epiphanies could arise in the most random ways. So it was in the life of the now lieutenant Finn. A man born into a family he would never meet, trained from birth to serve a murderous regime he betrayed at the first opportunity he had. A man who had never had a name until he ran into an enemy pilot who, besides giving him a name, gave him something he never thought he would have: friendship and a sense of belonging. A pilot who showed him that, despite all the indoctrination that had accompanied him during his life, Finn now had a place he could call his own.

But, going back to the epiphanies ...

The most important epiphany of his short life arose from a completely pointless thing.

What was the epiphany? Poe Dameron, his friend, loved him.

In a very deep, sincere, and not brotherly way. Quite the contrary. And Finn, in turn, had the same feeling.

And how did the Force made this conclusion possible?

Through an unreliable list, coming from the datapad of two young Resistance recruits. A list entitled: **8 ways to tell that he cares about you.**

* * *

 _As long as we're together_

 _The rest can go to Hell_

 _I absolutely love you_

 _But we're absolute beginners_

 _With eyes completely open_

 _But nervous all the same_

 **1 - He brings you gifts**

Just like when Finn, fresh out of recovery, found Poe sitting beside his bed and holding a packet in his hands. Initially the former soldier did not bother to ask what it was, as he was too interested in knowing what had happened during his stay on the Wounded Side of the Force. Poe gave him a summary of the events, spoke some nonsense - the pilot could see that his friend was particularly worried about Rey's journey in search of Luke Skywalker and about the First Order's terrible response to the destruction of Starkiller base - and rambled over a little.

"Ah, I have one more thing!" Poe said.

"I don't know if I can handle any more news, dude." Finn replied.

The pilot laughs and hands the packet over to his friend.

"You were discharged. I brought some clothes."

Finn thanked him, left the room cheerfully and went to change. It was not long before he realized that there was a familiar thing with those new clothes. A certain brown jacket, fully restored. Finn goes back to the room and Poe makes a point of reaffirming a thought he had long ago.

"That jacket looks really good on you."

"Thank you," Finn looks at the clothes in question a little more. "what's the material?"

 _"Boyfriend material..."_ No, Poe did not allow this thought to leave his head, no matter how much he had wanted to. "I'm not sure."

* * *

 _If our love song_

 _Could fly over mountains_

 _Could laugh at the ocean_

 _Just like the films_

 **2 - He always finds a way to accidentally bump into you**

Like the life in the First Order, the life in the midst of the Resistance was filled with routine.

Waking up, getting dressed, eating, bumping into Poe. Meetings, helping wherever possible, seeing Poe doing something around. Becoming aggravated with someone or something, resting a little bit, another meeting, finding the Poe in a corridor where the pilot had absolutely no reason to be. This strange pattern went unnoticed by Finn for a long time, and would probably go on like this if it wasn't for Rey and her keen eyes. Yes, just as the late Han Solo had said: **"Women always figure out the truth"**.

"How does it feel like?" The girl asked. She and her friend were fixing a starfighter on a cloudy afternoon.

"How does what feel like?"

"Having two shadows."

She turns her friend's head away from the starfighter and Finn realizes that Poe was watching them and became suddenly embarrassed to be caught in the act.

"It's ... uh ... weird."

"You know, it's kinda cute." Rey laughs. "A little bit scary, but cute nonetheless."

* * *

 _If our love song_

 _Could fly over mountains_

 _Could laugh at the ocean_

 _Just like the films_

 **3 - He gets protective when he thinks someone hurt you.**

Even with the help he provided in the destruction of Starkiller and with the approval of both Poe Dameron and General Organa, it was not unusual for Finn to feel an aura of hostility emanating from some Resistance members. Which was not surprising, really. How many had not suffered at the hands of the First Order? At the hands of those he has been trained all his life to serve. To the best of his capabilities, the young man avoided conflicts and tried to be as helpful as possible. It worked out 90 percent of the time, but there was always someone influenced by a warring spirit. Like when an enraged Rodian decided to call him out on something and went at the former stormtrooper.

Not that the reaction of the nonhuman had been extraordinary, a good punch would be enough for the newly promoted lieutenant to have the poor creature flying across room. The extraordinary thing was the fury with which Poe Dameron stood in the middle of the way and shoved the Rodian out. All under the unbelieving eyes of other Resistance members.

"Thanks, Poe," The dark-skinned man said "But you know that wasn't necessary, right?"

"He needed a lesson in manners! And that lesson didn't come soon enough!" The pilot was seething. "Are you alright?"

"I'm the one one who should be asking," The dynamic duo didn't take notice of the fact that their interaction had gone two-way, and that they were ignoring everyone else in the room. "He lashed out at you."

"It was nothing."

Near the door, two siblings watched the scene.

"Watching these two is like having a Holonet soap opera unfolding before our eyes," General Leia Organa was trying not to smile.

"You and Han weren't that different..." Jedi Master Luke Skywalker, on the other hand, brazenly smiled. "But I don't think they will take as long as you and Han did."

"I think it will take less than six months."

"One year."

In the end, Han Solo's words proved to be accurate. Leia won the bet.

* * *

 _There's no reason_

 _To feel all the hard times_

 _To lay down the hard lines_

 _It's absolutely true_

 **4 - He wants to know about your day**

As mentioned earlier, the days in the Resistance had lots of routine. Bordering on repetitive. But whenever possible, Finn tried to occupy his time. Hobbies, that's what people called it. Practically everyone had hobbies there and the lieutenant eventually found one in cataloging those of others.

Rey liked to go into the woods and stay there for hours, enjoying the green and the water. General Organa was fond of writing and it was common to see her quietly scribbling on her datapad, and he assumed that the woman would have a multitude of stories to tell. Temmin Wexley could not see a droid or a piece of broken droid nearby; the man seemed to have a compulsive need of fixing things. Master Luke Skywalker, as his title suggested, liked to teach; to share his knowledge with new recruits.

In addition to his voyeuristic hobbies, Finn discovered that he liked music. In particular, he liked the sound of the flutes and liked it so much that he took classes from a pink-skinned Twi'lek nurse who enjoyed spending her nights in the infirmary, playing melodic songs to those recovering. Needless to say, his first attempts were disastrous, but both the nurse and Poe were graceful guinea pigs in his musical foray. They encouraged him and gave him ideas. So Finn moved on.

"How was your day?" Poe asked one night after he returned from a reconnaissance flight on a nearby moon.

"It was ok…" Finn sounded somewhat upset. "I wanted to play a little, but the flute's owner is not around and I can't break into her room to get it."

"I see." Poe's tone was odd, though the dark-skinned man could not explain why.

The subject died there, but soon the friends found more subjects to talk about before another important, albeit boring meeting took place. Then, they took separate ways and didn't see one another again that evening. Early in the morning, when he arrived in the dormitory he shared with Rey, Finn found an object in his bed. A brand new flute.

* * *

 _Nothing much could happen_

 _Nothing we can't shake_

 _Oh we're absolute beginners_

 _With nothing much at stake_

 **5 -** **He** **include** **s** **you in his hobbies**

Not that Finn had made any point of it, but Poe decided to share with him his love for venturing out. In a random, reckless, pointless way. And, to make it worse, in the middle of a damn mission!

And what was the mission?

Checking the information that there was a new First Order outpost in Akiva. It was a relatively simple task: watching, checking, collecting data and leaving. Nothing more, nothing less.

The problem is that when Poe Dameron was involved, nothing was simple. Nothing! Weeks investigating on Akiva didn't result in any new information, but served to make contacts with some shady groups, reinforce supplies, and deal with a feverish, delirious pilot in the middle of the jungle.

How did this happen?

On the last three days, when they were ready to leave, Poe thought it would be a good idea to practice an unconventional activity called Speleology - the study of caves. Something that, for some reason, Dameron thought utterly sensational. Whereas Finn thought it was completely stupid.

Needless to say, Finn responded with categorical "no's" until he was forced to follow Poe out of fear that his friend would get himself killed. What almost happened. Not only because the cave was damp, dark, and strange, but also because Poe scratched himself in a stalagmite covered in mold and got an infection that the poor bacta patches could not solve at all.

With that, he had to carry his companion in the back, by yards, in the bush, in a torrential rain, until they could return to the camp they had set up.

"Do you know that I hate you?" Finn said as he placed a battered Poe inside a tent.

"No, you don't..." the other responded in a groggy voice.

"Yes, I do! I hate you, I hate forests, I hate adventures! " Anger and exhaustion were getting the best of Finn. "What the hell were you thinking?"

"I just wanted to spend some time with you." Poe winks.

"We spent the entire mission together!" Finn watched the rain. _"If the fever doesn_ _'t_ _kill him, I_ _will!_ _"_

"And what if I told you it will never be enough?"

Before Finn could say anything, Poe is overcome by sleep. When he woke up the next day, he thanked his friend and they went back to town. As they packed things into the ship, Poe repeats the question.

"What if I told you it would will never be enough?"

"I wouldn't know how to answer."

* * *

 _As long as you're still smiling_

 _There's nothing more I need_

 _I absolutely love you_

 _But we're absolute beginners_

 _But if my love is your love_

 _We're certain to succeed_

 **6 - He introduce** **s** **you to his friends or people who are important to him**

A similarity between Poe and Finn: both were orphans. But one brutal difference lays in the fact that the pilot had friends everywhere, while the former stormtrooper could count his on his fingers. There was no such thing as friendship in the First Order, only a respectful and superficial contact with those with whom he had served. Still, Finn did not complain. His few friends were enough for him.

The problem is that -as usual - Poe disagreed and thought that more people could join the select ranks of "Finn's Brethren" (ah, here was another annoying hobbie the pilot had: nicknaming. Everything and everyone!). An honor that could and should be shared with others in the Resistance.

So, on a cold, rainy night in D'Qar, Poe insisted that Finn joined him and the Black Squadron for an early night of gentle relaxation ... which did not take long to turn into drinking contest. It took awhile for Finn to get comfortable, but he was sincerely touched by Squadron members' efforts to welcome him.

And he was even more touched upon realizing, as the night went on, how much that group meant to his friend. They were not just colleagues or coreligionists, they were practically Poe's family.

"Something wrong?" Jessika Pava noticed that Finn had suddenly become distracted.

"Nothing," The lieutenant replied, looking at the woman. "I was just thinking about how Poe made you guys his family." Both look at the pilot.

She smiles.

"That's pretty much like it. But I think he wants to make room for someone else in his little family."

"I thought the squadron was already full."

"That's not what I'm talking about," She winks. "silly…"

She offered no further explanation, and it took awhile for Finn to understand her words.

* * *

 _If our love song_

 _Could fly over mountains_

 _Sail over heartaches_

 _Just like the films_

 **7 - He is honest with you**

Finn was going nuts! It had been months of coexistence, mixed signals and different people always saying the same thing or implying the same thing: **"** **You are not just a friend to Poe."**

Was that even possible? But if Finn wasn't a friend, what was he? The dark-skinned man cursed the fact that he had almost no emotional development for most of his life! Had everything been different, he would not be in this terrible dilemma and so full of doubts.

But what did he feel for Poe Dameron?

Many things, no doubt. Respect, camaraderie, and an affection that was difficult to explain. He loved being with Poe (but he also loved being with several other people), he thought of Poe with increasing frequency (as increasing as his concerns about the First Order), he feared for the commander's life (being at war, who would not fear?). However, the strangest thing was becoming aware of the reactions his body had when Poe was around.

An inner warmth added to a cold sweat that ran down his skin when the other spoke. His voice seemed to disappear when the pilot was near, and a tightness in his chest whenever his friend headed off somewhere. A shiver that went down his spine when Poe spoke to him in a more husky, intimate voice.

After a week in a sentimental limbo, Finn decided he would ask the question. He had to do or he would go crazy!

"Tell me the truth!" The sudden question came up during a walk in a forest near the base. "Please." Finn's tone went from authoritative to submissive in a second.

"I always tell you the truth!" Poe's indignant tone was unconvincing. "I'm incapable of lying!"

"Not because you're honest," Finn huffs. "but because you're a terrible liar."

"That hurts, buddy." Poe laughs. "But what do you know?"

"Do you like me?" Finn was serious. His expression gave nothing away, but his neurons resembled maddened rathtars. _"Say yes, say yes, say yes ..."_

The pilot remains silent for a few seconds.

"Did you really have to ask me that?" He got closer to the lieutenant.

"Can you answer?" Finn was suffocating.

"No, I do not like you." The distance between the two is closed in an instant and followed by a searing kiss. "I just love you."

* * *

 _There's no reason_

 _To feel all the hard times_

 _To lay down the hard lines_

 _It's absolutely true_

 **8\. He does not give up on you (even when you beg the Force for him to do just that!)**

"Finn..."

"Uh..."

The lieutenant wasn't willing to leave the Dream Realm. Especially when the bed was comfortable and he was being pleasantly held by his boyfriend.

"Finn..." Poe repeated.

"What's your problem with me sleeping, man?"

"I've come to a conclusion."

"In the middle of the night?" Unbelief makes him open his eyes and see a smiling Poe. Smiling beyond what could have been possible for a newcomer to a long, tiring dangerous, and - defying all common sense - watered in Corellian wine mission. "Your brain is very strange, you know?"

"I'm aware," The commander replies. "I concluded that I'm not enjoying your name as it is now."

"Really? Too bad, because I like it." Finn lieutenant was pretty confused. _"Note to self: Keep Poe away from alcohol. Forever! "_

"Lieutenant Finn is not enough. Something's missing"

"Give me a few more years, and I'll become General Finn." Finn was getting worried. Maybe it was not the alcohol that was taking over his boyfriend, but madness. Life in the Resistance was not easy. "Sounds better?"

"Yes, I'll become an Admiral and keep you company. It will be very interesting: Admiral Poe Dameron…"

"And General Finn." Finn adds. "Yes, I liked it...can I go back to sleep now?"

"No! It's still going to be an incomplete name." The smile did not leave Poe's face. How was that even possible? How could he not get cramps?

"Baby, stop that! We need to sleep!"

"After your name is better."

"Ok I give up." Finn sits and so does Poe. "So, Commander, what do you suggest?"

"It's simple: if the Force is merciful, I believe that in a few years we may become Admiral Poe Dameron …" A dramatic pause. "and General Finn..."

"General Finn …"

"...Dameron."

After those words, silence.

After the silence ... well ... the expected. Considering the couple in question.

* * *

 **Addendum: 9 - He gives you a name that you readily accept.**

Twice.

 **{The End}**


End file.
